The BAFTA award-winning actor discussed his average day, which featured all sorts of things, including peeing in the dark, baked porridge, sleeping pills, and weather-dependent-masturbation. He wrote: “I wake up generally at 3 or 4 am. Not because I’m like Margaret Thatcher, but because I need to pee.
“I pee in the darkness using my phone screen to illuminate the target, then often take half a sleeping pill (antihistamine), turn on the World Service very quietly and try to go to sleep.”
He gave readers even more insight into his life, describing holding his girlfriend in different positions as he tries to return to sleep. Or if his girlfriend is absent, he hugs a pillow instead.
What’s more, he talks about his “hobbies and extracurricular activities” saying: “If it’s sunny I might go for a cycle ride down the canal, if it’s raining I might masturbate and doze, or speculate on the extraordinary injustice of Philip Green’s knighthood, or look at that app that tells you which celebrity you most resemble (Tom Hardy) …”
Fans have gone wild on social media, with many proclaiming their love for Tom Hollander. Some people claim Tom’s article is the best “A Life in The Day” piece yet.
On Twitter, one user described the article as “an antidote to the tedious bull***t from healthy living warriors.”
Another pointed out why the article was so enjoyable, saying, “The truth and honesty (and wit) of this shines through.”